She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Randomize
