so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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