she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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