i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
