I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
