I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Randomize
