I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Randomize
