she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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