i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
