Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
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