My brain says no but my pants say off.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
