Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Randomize
