Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Randomize
