I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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