you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
