yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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