census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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