I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
