whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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