forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
He keeps bees of course he's weird
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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