my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Randomize
