u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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