Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
another moral hangover. fuck.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
