Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
