Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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