I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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