So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
The beer is more important than you right now.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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