Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize
