So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Randomize
