DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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