If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
