Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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