I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
