My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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