put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
