Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
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