this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
