You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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