dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
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