she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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