The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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