If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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