How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
