Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
