that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
