Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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