Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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