He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
