I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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