Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
