I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
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