i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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