Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
