i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
