Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
